If I said it once, I have said it a thousand times: learning about the law of attraction can be a blessing and a curse simultaneously. I am writing this post in response to a question someone recently asked me.
It is the former because applying this teaching in your life can change every nook and cranny of your experience for the better. Becoming more conscious of our energy and directing it in a way that serves us better can never be a bad thing.
It is the latter because once we learn about such a teaching it is so easy to totally over-think how to go about manifesting something, become overly-focused on what we want in a not-so-great way, get all freaked out about our ‘negativity’ and obsess over whether we are doing it ‘right.’
As a law of attraction ‘enthusiast,’ as well as a blogger and coach whose focus is on this topic, I know all too well the frustration that many of us conscious creators face.
My blog is lousy with comments of people lamenting the absence of the things they have been trying to manifest. Many a client has been in the same boat. I too have personally experienced it countless times.
In many cases, enthusiasm for the process wanes after awhile; the prospects of getting what we want seem to get dimmer and dimmer as time goes on. We are so sick of trying. We are so sick of trying to ‘be positive.’
We are doing all the ‘work’ and nothing is happening. What the fuck man?
If you are asking yourself this question, here are a few of my thoughts…
You Don’t ‘Use’ the Law of Attraction
It is all too common for people to see the law of attraction as some sort of ‘tool’ you can use to improve your life. And in many cases, it becomes synonomous with things like affirmations, vision boards, and other ‘tools’ that can be helpful in shifting our energy and focus.
But it isn’t a tool. It isn’t something that ‘works’ or doesn’t ‘work.’ You can’t do it ‘right’ or ‘wrong.’
Yes, there is some ‘work’ that needs to be done in terms of shifting our energy—that is where the aforementioned tools come in as they are a means of helping us do this. There can be great power in ritual and consciously cultivating specific feelings and energies on a regular basis
And if you have been reading my blog or listening to my podcasts, you know I have said this a lot before…these tools are a means to an end in that they help you cultivate a different energy, which is the true determinant of what shows up in your life.
I repeat stuff a lot because it takes time for these truths to really sink in, not because I can’t think of anything new to say. Okay, maybe that’s sometimes why I do it (winky face.) No seriously, it’s because our conditioning runs deep and this new way of being won’t just happen overnight.
We are so oriented towards action, and we have been operating from a paradigm that states if we do enough, something will eventually happen. But it doesn’t work like that with creating from a space of energy.
Again, now that we are working consciously with our energy, we will be ‘doing’ some things to shift the beliefs and what not, but it is so important you remember any action you are taking, including the utilization of any tools you use to help you shift your energy, is not the true point of creation.
Our mind doesn’t get ‘being,’ it only gets ‘doing’ and it spurs us into all sorts of actions that just stand in the way, that aren’t the best actions to be taking, at least in the moment we are taking them.
Whatever is Necessary for a Manifestation to Show Up Will Be Included in the ‘Package’
When we really think about how this whole law of attraction thing works on the core level, we really can’t understand it can we? What is causing those amazing ‘coincidences?’ What is bringing you together with that person who gives you exactly what you need when you need it?
How do things seem to swoop in just in the nick of time? What is making something show up at the absolutely perfect time for you, and had it come in at any other point, things would not have turned out so well or you may not have even wanted this great thing?
We really can’t answer those questions, at least to the level of explanation our mind would like. But when we apply the teachings, these things just happen. It is kind of like if you turn the key in your ignition, your car will start, or if you flip on the switch the room will be flooded with light.
You may not know the exact intricacies taking place that bring that end result, but in taking that action, that is the result you will get.
This inability of us to understand how this awesomeness works, and making peace with that, is a key component of manifesting with greater ease. It is what makes it easier to build trust and get out of our own way.
How it will happen, I can’t explain in deep detail, but whatever you need for your manifestations to come to fruition will be part of the package. And just a quick reminder here, that no matter what you are looking to feel a certain way…
So our constant pleadings to the Universe about these specific things or worrying we will somehow get what we want in some watered down version or in some way we wouldn’t like is not necessary.
Let’s take money for example because we have a really hard time letting that in…not because money is inherently harder to attract, but because we have so much baggage around it. Developing an energy of feeling like we don’t ‘need’ it can be quite the challenge (remember that giving up that desperate needing does not mean kissing that manifestation goodbye.)
So, if you are trying to attract more money because you need to catch up on bills, there is a pretty good chance actual money will be part of the manifestation that will bring you what you are really after, which is feeling more at peace and secure. Because money is obviously the easiest, most direct way to get your bills taken care of.
If you want a relationship because you want to share your life with someone, a romantic relationship is the most interwined relationship we have. So, there is a good chance you will end up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, not someone who is perfect for you in every way but only likes you as a friend, and you have to end up settling for that.
I know it is hard for us to understand–even the most ‘advanced’ among us grapple with this idea at times—that we don’t need to send the reminders, we don’t need to ‘try’ and manifest anything specific, that we want to exert our control in a more effective way, which is not through trying to dictate exactly what shows up, but through our energy, which will then get mirrored back to us in all sorts of great ways.
If You’re Feeling Like ‘Giving Up’, It’s Time to Check In with Yourself
I know we want certain things and it’s frustrating when we don’t have them. Our mind will get attached to specifics. It will convince you certain things are absolutely necessary for your happiness or are the exact thing you want or need at this moment in time.
That may be a battle we’ll always be fighting to some degree as there will be a part of our mind that will always be operating from that limited perspective and lack of understanding about who we really are, what we really want and all that jazz.
So, don’t beat yourself up too much about not being able to 100 percent detach from specific manifestations, and just enter a state of trust and surrender 24/7.
Now that we have established it is our energy that creates and not all the ‘work’ we may be doing to shift our energy or bring about our specific manifestations, the fact we may be feeling exasperated by this whole process and feeling like we want to ‘give up’ is a pretty good indicator we really aren’t operating from a very manifesting-friendly space.
It is time for a bit of self-review, and when I say this, again, I’m not talking about beating yourself up for not being a good little manifestor, but honestly assessing how you have really been feeling and what has comprised all this ‘trying’ of which you are speaking.
We feel like ‘giving up’ when we have been pushing really hard, and pushing really hard is not indicative of alignment. It is indicative of control and trying to force results through a specific channel.
We feel like ‘giving up’ when we excitedly look forward to our manifestation and experience a swell of disappointment each time things don’t turn out like we thought they might. No matter how genuinely you might have been vibing higher, that reaction shows you very clearly you did have some strong expectations.
That reaction might also indicate your general distrust in the process or that you maybe don’t have as much power as you thought. So it is important to consider what is causing this disappointment.
We feel like ‘giving up’ when our desire to manifest the things we want is primarily coming from a space of not liking our life how it is now, and viewing these manifestations as the key to solving the problems we face or making the feelings we don’t like go away. It is really hard not to get attached to certain things happening for us when we view them in this light.
Yes, this sense of contrast is helpful in determining what we would prefer to receive into our reality instead, but always operating from a space of resisting ‘what is’ sets us up for a whole lot of suffering and slow-movement on the manifesting-front.
We feel like ‘giving up’ when we are diligently using all our ‘tools’ to no avail. Our mind sees us making all this effort and expects some sort of result in return…but remember what I said earlier about the ‘doing’ not being the linchpin in the creation process. But there is a good chance the use of all these tools hasn’t made any real dent in how you have been feeling overall, which is what determines what shows up.
Being honest with how we feel and the energy that is predominant in certain areas of our life is so crucial to this process; and I don’t know that we really understand that, given the misconceptions about the law of attraction (you must be happy all the time, just focusing enough on what you want will ensure it comes, blah, blah, blah) and the value and role of our emotions play.
If You Feel Like Giving Up, It’s Probably Time to Give Up
When I say this, I don’t mean giving up on the idea you can actually have something better in life. I mean give up on all this ‘trying’ you have been doing because clearly it hasn’t been working out too well for you. This isn’t supposed to be some painful, hard process.
This way of operating is meant to help us break away from all the struggle, hard work and suffering that we have been taught is necessary to ‘get ahead’ and is what makes us more deserving of the good stuff.
When you understand it’s not the affirmations, the visualizing or the vision boards that create, nor our insistence or pleading certain things show up for us, nor our ‘wanting,’ letting go of ‘trying’ to make something manifest for you is the best way to bring it about.
Or to bring about something else even better, something that is probably a more accurate representation of what you truly want—remember our mind isn’t the best at determining this. In many cases, it does a pretty crappy job if we’re being honest.
Our role in the deliberate creation process is much less involved than we think. No, the law of attraction isn’t magic where we just get to decide we want certain things and voila, they just show up, exactly as we have decided they must.
There is some effort involved in the energy department since we have ‘stuff’ we have to acknowledge and work on. But, as far as the action part of the equation goes, it takes on a very different role than in the traditional paradigm.
You can do tools from sun up to sun down and it won’t matter a lick if how you predominantly feel isn’t budging very much. You can take all sorts of actions, but if they are coming from a space of trying to ‘make’ something happen, it’s going to be a very slow-going process.
When you are feeling like this, the best thing you can do is step away from all the personal development ‘work’ unless doing it truly makes you feel better. Because remember, all that is just a means to an end, and if it isn’t achieving the end of changing how you feel, it’s just a waste of time.
You’re better off doing anything else, and I mean anything, if it provides any degree of feeling better.
The best thing you can do is take a break from the variety of actions and regroup.
In this space of pulling back and giving up the struggle, that is when you can really start aligning, that is when you will get more clarity on what you really want, that is when you will figure out the more effective actions.
In this space of pulling back, and not pushing against what is so much by ‘trying’ so hard to create something different, your energy and focus changes, and when that changes, your point of attraction must change with it, has no choice.
So, if you are feeling really frustrated with your blogging, take two weeks off. If you are sick of the blind dates and the online dating scene, pull back. If the strategies you have been using to build your business don’t seem to be bearing fruit, stop doing them.
‘Giving up’ has a very different connotation in this way of thinking, and the willingness to do so can be a game-changer.
Your Turn…
What did you think of this post? Have you ever felt like this? Anything resonate in particular? Any tips you would give for when people feel like this?
Hi Kelli,
Wow, this one was a tearjerker for me! When you stated “We feel like ‘giving up’ when we excitedly look forward to our manifestation and experience a swell of disappointment each time things don’t turn out like we thought they might. No matter how genuinely you might have been vibing higher, that reaction shows you very clearly you did have some strong expectations.” it resonated deeply. Sometimes, I’ll be in the space of vibing high, and I’m manifesting some good sh*t, but then, all of sudden, a button in me will get pushed (childhood stuff), or doubt and then boom, it becomes a spiral of downhill emotions. And I do get, that the strong expectations were there and were very specific in my head (and in my high vibe) But, and I can hear your voice in my head every time you mention this, I realize that maybe there’s still some junk in me that I still need to deal with and the universe is just lovingly trying to show me (even though, it doesn’t f**ckin’ feel that way). I do also understand the feeling of wanting to give up and doing the best I can, at the same time, not bashing myself as if I failed or that I’m being punished. Some days though, it can be pretty rough….
Please continue your work! And thanks again, for helping to make sense of LOA! This is truly life changing stuff! Good luck in Costa Rica, sounds like a challenge, but a great adventure as well!
Hi Letty
I am glad the post resonated. I think we all have expectations about everything…it is kind of hard not to. Our mind just can’t help but get ideas of what it thinks will happen in any given situation. But ultimately, it’s good that this happens because without that manifestation we wouldn’t know we had the expectation. It’s really important not to be too hard on ourselves and forget our human element in all of this. We all have our junk so don’t feel too badly about that! Pay attention to your emotions when you feel like you are being triggered and what comes up when these things happen but also don’t feel pressure to deeply analyze everything all the time and then try to clear it. So much gets shifted automatically just through feeling better overall and building some momentum behind the beliefs and feelings we prefer to have. Being more accepting of my shit really changed things, rather than me always being resistant to it and worrying I was ‘messing it all up.’
Hi guys am not as good as all yous at putting things into words. But I would say don’t give up put things out there stay positive and just get on with your life being the best person you can be. When you have a bad day do something to lift you spirits like dance read or just listen to music Then start a fresh the next day knowing with patience you life will improve. Remember there are things in life that are inevitable and don’t give yourself such a hard time. Try to find the positive in your live and count your blessings. X
Hi Joan
I think you expressed your thoughts very well and I love everything you said. My favorite part of what you said was just about getting on with life. Working on ourselves and ‘trying’ to manifest certain things shouldn’t comprise the bulk of our existence, focus and day to day energy. We work on what needs to be worked on when it surfaces but again just prioritize enjoyment of the present moment since it’s all we want anyways!
Great post, and congratulations on getting it on your site with such challenging circumstances in the jungle!
I have totally experienced this–recently, in fact, and letting go (not pushing, trying, manipulating, etc., AKA resisting) seems to be the answer. Sometimes it’s hard to get back to that feeling of what you really want (if you were ever able to identify it in the first place), like freedom and ease, which often come disguised in the tricky costume of money. Like you said, manifesting money is, unfortunately, usually the easiest way of dealing with things like bills and daily living expenses, given the society we live in. And when those things are taken care of, it’s easier to focus on our bigger, more abstract goals and the things that make life richer.
As life coach Cheryl Richardson says, it’s hard to bring your best self forward when you can’t meet your regular expenses because that ties up your energy, your resourcefulness, your creativity… It even ties up your brain cells, literally, as studied by Sendhil Mullainathan and Eldar Shafir for their book “Scarcity.”
Not getting something for a long time brings up all kinds of doubts, disappointments, and worries, so true. Am I resisting too much? Trying too hard? Undeserving? Not fated for whatever I’m trying to manifest? Does the Universe have something even better in mind? Do I need to learn a greater “soul lesson” before I can appreciate it?
Yeah, it’s totally a head trip, which is always a sign for me that I’m working too hard to make something happen. I can detach from things like relationships and material possessions most of the time, but when the wolf is at the door, and you need to pay rent to avoid eviction or put gas in your car just to get home, it’s a lot harder to not care about money. Of course, the catch-22 there is that’s when you need to detach the most to bring in what you desire (technically, not a “need,” but it feels like it if you’re going to be homeless or stranded without it). Is it impossible to bring your best self forward without these “needs?” No, but it’s a heck of a lot easier, so figuring out when to just chill on something, even for a few hours, is key.
HOW to do that is, I think, elusive for many people. There’s a lot of advice about the need to detach or give up resistance, but not a ton out there in the self-help world on how to actually do that. Meditation is great for small problems, but it’s hard when you have monkey mind about a big issue. I like to take a walk outside, do something physical (more like moving meditations), clean the house (changes the chi), light candles or build a fire (also chi), listen to music and sing (inadvertent breath work), watch something funny, journal all the negative stuff and kind of get it out of my system, or spend time with my dogs,
I want to return to taking action towards whatever it is I’m trying to manifest, but I want to do it from a positive space. I also want to recapture that original feeling associated with achieving that manifestation, that living as if I’ve already experienced it. I think of it as the “honeymoon phase” of giving birth to a manifestation, you know, where you’re like, “OMG, I can do this, and it’s gonna feel so great” blah blah.
What do you do when you need to detach from something and “give up” for awhile?
Hang in there, and stay out of the mud! Can you get a satellite Internet stick in BriBri? Or maybe it’s okay not to have the Web for awhile. Does that feel like “shackles on” or “shackles off,” as Martha Beck would ask?
Hey Patricia
Thanks so much for your comment…so many of you guys leave such awesome ones that really speak to concerns and thoughts I think will resonate with so many other people reading them. I agree that money struggles can make things more difficult because like you said, we can expend a lot of energy worrying about it, trying to ‘fix’ the problem,etc… And that is exactly what gets in the way because our mind does a very good job of convincing us that this ‘worry’ is particularly legitimate and we feel very justified in holding onto all the reasons why we can’t let go of the sense of need, and remaining so worried.
I have had money problems in the past, like really bad ones, and I know how stressful it is. Yes, in one sense we do ‘need’ money–we live in a society where that is the primary means of acquiring things. But when we latch onto that reasoning to justify worrying about it, we aren’t doing ourselves any favors, as anyone who struggle with this has probably figured out.
Letting go of the sense of need doesn’t mean letting go of manifesting that thing, but our mind doesn’t get that. One thing that really helped me with things I had a lot of resistance to, like money, was being open to the idea of being okay with things getting even worse…sounds crazy but that willingness can be a key to shifting energy because much of that ‘yuck’ comes from that fear that things won’t get better and may actually get worse. Giving the Universe ‘permission’ to do this doesn’t actually mean inviting it in…that is important to remember. It just means getting in an energy where we aren’t fighting so much against ‘what is’ and trying so hard to create from a space of changing things we don’t like now. Also, really appreciating what was good in my life now was key…when I was broke, I developed true appreciation for even the smallest things, like having a place to stay, having food–things I would normally take for granted. I know that is a common suggestion but it is easy to overlook because our mind likes to dismiss all that in favor of focusing on our problems. But that energy of feeling like you have good things now will set us up to attract more good things.
The last time we used the stick, it didn’t work too well so I don’t see it as a reliable thing and it would suck to walk all the way to where I need to get any sort of reception and not have it work! I’m not familiar with that shackles thing, but I’m guessing ‘off’ is the good one? If so, that is what I’m feeling.I was really feeling the pull to do something like this for a bit. Getting in once a week (hopefully) to take care of everything seems sufficient.
Hi Kelli,
Yeah, the “shackles” question is a simple test life coach Martha Beck uses to help decide if an action she’s thinking about taking is probably the right one. If it feels like the shackles (prison handcuffs) are coming off, that feeling of freedom is a good indicator you are heading in the right direction. If you experience more of a “shackles on” feeling, that’s a sign you might be taking action in a less helpful way or one that will make you feel yucky down the line. I use this all the time, and it’s helped me make both big and small decisions.
If you haven’t read Beck’s book “Steering by Starlight,” I highly recommend it. It’s probably the single best self-help book I’ve ever read about making big changes in your life.
Hi Patricia
Thanks for the tip…I will definitely have to check it out. I think that shackles thing is awesome…I’ll have to keep that in mind when making decisions.
Hi kelly
Hour comment abt letting go even things seems to go worse was really an eye opener for me. I got it. Thank you so much. Vod bless you with tons of happiness
Hi Mala
Thanks so much for your comment and so glad you found the post helpful
Hi Kelli
Thank you for this post!
I haven’t been commenting a lot lately,…I’ve been too busy manifesting! Every day is an adventure now and my life is getting better and better, just by feeling good. I can’t tell you some of the amazing things I”ve manifested in the last few months, things that I didn’t ask for but are super fun and taking me places I want to go.
I’m trying to get to a place of pulling back all the time, I don’t concentrate on the specific things I want, I just try to find something good in every moment and ride that good feeling all day, going where I feel like going.
People in my office comment on how happy I am all the time and how nothing gets me down. It’s certainly nice to know I am in control of how things affect me.
It’s good to read your posts and get reminders of how to stay in this place all the time, especially when resistance comes up and you momentarily forget how LOA works.
Hi Bunny
Long time no ‘see’ I had a feeling things were going swimmingly for you. Last time you checked in, things had really taken a turn for the better and I could tell you were on an upward trajectory from there! I am so so happy to hear things are going so well for you. As you have seen firsthand, getting our energy right can set up so many things for us, things that weren’t even on our radar and probably so much better than whatever our mind had its sights set on. I would love to hear about some of the cool stuff…keep up the good ‘work’!
Hey Kelli, great post. I’ve felt like giving up so many times but didn’t quite feel able to do that. It is a good idea to take a break if you feel frustrated because you can push and push and not get anywhere.
I like your new pic and hope you and Ryan are doing well in the jungle. 🙂
Hello there MS
So glad you liked it. Taking that break is a really good idea because anytime we are feeling like we need one, it means we are pushing too hard and ‘trying’ too much to make something happen. That pulling away can really get things moving in the other direction energetically. We are doing well…very interesting experience and I am glad we decided to do it. Thanks about the picture!
I am ready to give up. I am becoming really depressed as I moved and have been trying for 8 months to get a job in my profession. I have never been this unlucky before. I wo der if the universe is trying to tell me somethibg. I am an imperfect human and am becoming close to bankruptcy. What to do? When to give up? I am very anxious!
I was once unemployed for 8 months trying to get a job in my profession.By the time it had come to my final interview, I had completely given up, even on the day. I literally did not give a sh!t anymore. Guess what? I got the job.
Isn’t that funny how that happens? It is a great example of how the core ‘ingredient’ really is that lack of resistance in the form of worry, attachment,etc…
Lately I am having feelings of “giving up” with a certain situation of my life. I decided to come to the internet for some guidance and inspiration. I happened to stumble upon this wonderful, eye opening article. Boy, am I glad I did.
Another crazy thing? This article was written on 12/4/15- this date has an extremely important role in the situation I am going through. I have great vibes that all is working out how it is supposed to!
Hi Kristen
Thanks so much for your comment and I’m glad you enjoyed the post and it was just what you needed–wonderful how the Universe works isn’t it? No matter what, it’s always all good. Just focus on the bigger picture and release as best you can on the specific manifestation–that doesn’t mean giving up on what you want but trusting that whatever is the best representation of it can come.
Hi,
What do we do when we are looking for something specific and time bound?
Like in my case, till two days ago me and my guy were both trying to manifest a marriage together, by visualizing his parents agreed for it (since they didn’t approve of me earlier), and now in a sudden change of events, they have convinced him and made him say a yes to an arranged marriage. I want to make this stop but I am not sure how do I use the law in this scenario.
Hi Henna
I am sorry for your situation–I know it must be painful. I am sorry but you are not going to like my answer but you need to hear it. Your question speaks to the biggest misconception about the law of attraction–this idea it is some sort of tool you can ‘use’ to manipulate your reality. By focusing on this one person and trying to get him to marry you, you are trying to control the HOW of your manifestation, of how you will get what you want, which isn’t him, it’s a relationship, and it’s not even really that either. You want to feel a certain way and you think the relationship will give it to you. You can’t make anyone do anything or manipulate reality to your exact specifications–it doesn’t work that way. Maybe things will change with this person. But you must also be willing to accept that you didn’t manifest this person to be your husband but for another reason–manifestations can carry many messages and may not always represent what our mind WANTS them to represent.
hi Kelli. This blog post has been very helpful for me. I have replied to your blogs before and you kindly offered me a 1-1 coaching session. I simply cannot afford that at the moment because of financial difficulties.. .losing my current job (which I really don’t like) and having to find another one.. (my husband doesn’t work as he is recovering from illness). I just want to do work that I enjoy. I want to create a weight loss coaching business and have had a couple of clients. However the day job paid the bills and this is a priority to find another day job. Finding one that frees me mentally from stress and that pays enough so bills and other basics are covered is proving difficult. I have been working as a lawyer and really disliked it. Now I have decided it’s finished. Am happy look for less stressful work until I can get something going with my business. because of all this upheaval I have been trying to implement the law of attraction to no avail.. so perhaps stepping away from it all is a really good idea. I get the point about doing all the work but if the feeling is not there then it’s a waste of time. Thank you for this post. It’s very helpful.
Hi Jane
It sounds like you know what you want to create in your life moving forward and it will happen. The type of work you are looking for now is out there…just give some thought to what you would want it to look like and feel. Don’t worry so much about the specific type of job. That will open up the energy that will allow you to manifest it in some way, whether a friend hooks you up with it, a job you find on your own and apply for,etc…Money stuff is tough, I have been there. But if you are willing to embrace the turmoil it is roiling up, you are being presented with an opportunity to manifest abundance on a bigger level and clear a lot of stuff that will not only benefit your finances but other areas of your life as well.
Great again, Kellie.
This article helped me on a day of such mixed desperate sad emotion. I 100% believe in Angels and believe in LOA- both proven in fact. BUT today a desire i have been putting some steam into and etc. i hear this person may be with someone else- a kick in the heart, tears before i knew they were coming, i focused and asked myself why ???- living in a sense of now being with this person, played havoc with me. If you live as if- your heat break as if it were real now. What is that about? It hurts like a real happening, like its real. Yet it isnt. What or how ? Do i give up? NO, but i need to put my heart away, stop this kick in the guts- help!
Hi Sharon
I know that is upsetting and attachment can be particularly strong when it comes to relationships. But you must realize the LOA isn’t a ‘tool’ to manipulate reality and get the exact things your mind wants. OUr mind can’t understand infinite possibility and anytime something or someone comes into our experience that seems to be a fit, it latches on and thinks it has to be THAT person or THAT thing. Maybe it is a match but maybe it’s not and the willingness to be open to other possibilities will be helpful. This person might serve another purpose in your life, such as to show you all this strong emotion so you can process and heal it. Anytime we get attached, we are trying to control the ‘how’ of the manifestation and this can be a major impediment to letting in the things and people that are actually the better representations of what we want.
Right on time Kelli! Ive been working on manifesting a relationship with a specific person. I prayed before finding the LOA and had several times where I felt I received divinely inspired messages promising this would come to fruition . We then had a falling out of sorts, and during the process of using the LOA, I began to feel really good about myself. All of a sudden I was able to manifest a physical relationship w him, but he recently he old me he sees no potential with me, and that he’s still w someone else (i thought they broke up). I suddenly feel inclined to take him at his word and walk away gracefully. I am also seeing spirit animals indication its time to walk away and to take a leap of faith and trust in God (or the universe). I feel sadness around this, as this would mean the messages I heard weren’t necessarily divinely inspired. So I guess my question is, do I stop my visualizations altogether? Am I being prompted to let go of my desires completely? Or am I being prompted to let go of any attachments? I feel like something majors and wonderful is right around the corner, but its operating int he present moment that Im having trouble with.
Hi Marie
This situation is a great example of our manifestations not always meaning what our mind thinks, or more importantly wants them to mean. Maybe this person served another purpose in your journey and wasn’t meant to stay. Just realize what you truly want is the relationship, and not even that really, but the feelings you think it would give you. Don’t try to control the ‘how’ by getting fixated on specifics–focus on the energy and the manifestations will make their way in.
Hello Kelli,
I stumbled across your blog as I have been reading/listening a fair bit to LOA. Initially it seemed too good/easy to be true. ‘The Secret’, and more recently I’ve been reading about ‘Abraham/Hicks.’ But then conversely I read a lot of negative feedback online about the ‘Abrahaze’ people find themselves in as they attempt to vibe, connect, manifest everything in their lives to no avail.
Your piece made some sense. Perhaps trying too hard is what puts people in this zombie like state and disconnection from reality.
I also felt your paragraph on when our desire to manifest the things we want is primarily coming from a space of not liking our life how it is now, and viewing these manifestations as the key to solving the problems we face or making the feelings we don’t like go away. This is currently how I feel in my current job.
I have been to 2 interviews for a new role and waiting on feedback on whether I will be called back for the 3rd interview. Perhaps to role came to me as I was open to it, and ready for the change, but now I feel desperate to get the job as this will take from my current role which I do not like. Its finding the balance to be open to possibilities, grasping them when they come and then allowing the universe to do its thing. I find this difficult. I want to be in control and actually living like this, LOA way, I feel less in control.
I suppose I could be in control of my feelings and be more positive like other readers have been. but when I’m in a work situation that brings me down, its challenging. Am I going about this the wrong way, am I sabotaging any abundance coming my way being desperate for change?
Thank you
Hi Scott
Thanks for your comment and sharing your experience. I think there are a lot of misconceptions about the teaching that lead people to the state you described–seeing it as a ‘tool’ to manipulate reality rather than a Universal law that has always has been operating in our lives, being the primary culprit in my opinion. The key is becoming more conscious of our energy, not just asking for stuff hoping the Universe will give it to us. That conscious focus on what we would like is helpful though of course because it activates energies and what not. It is okay to not like our current circumstances–the contrast helps us get a better sense of what we want to do, be and have in our own lives and we are always going to want to create. The key is not letting the discontent be the main driver and that is a process for sure so don’t put too much pressure on yourself to change conditioning that you have been operating with your whole life. Any shift is beneficial and it gets easier from there. The attachment stems from fear that something better may not come along, or this thing is our only shot. Maybe you’ll get this new job, maybe something will change with your current role and you like it more or you get a job with a totally different company or you go off into a whole new career. The key is realizing you are after a feeling–think about how you want your job to feel, think about what your ideal work environment would be like. Once you connect with that, you will begin to manifest things that move you in that direction. The key is being open to how it unfolds and recognizing your mind can’t come close to figuring out all the different possibilities–it can probably come up with like…two or three!
Hello Kelli,
Thank you so much for your work, it moves me to tears to know there are people like you who are so committed to other people’s well-being! I, as well as the countless people who follow you, appreciate it so much!! <3
I’m a second year undergraduate student and I have been trying to manifest a summer research job. The job I wanted – I had three dreams that I got the offer – but in the end it didn’t come through. But then I kept getting interview calls for another job. I didn’t care too much about the job when I applied, but I’d been repeatedly getting hints to change my perspective – it would show up in an Instagram post or something else I was reading. So I became convinced this new job was the one! I even got two separate referrals for it, and the interview went really well, but I just found out I wasn’t accepted.
I’m at a loss for what to do right now. Since the summer term is half a month away, I’m beginning to think if I can still manifest a job so late? I’m confused as to why I was getting so much encouragement (in the form of dreams where I was accepted and repeated calls and referrals to this new job) but I still got rejected.
I’ve had so many rejections while trying to find a summer job – it’s hard to keep my spirits up. Especially because I felt like there was no resistance. I was so confident I would get this job that I even told people I did, and planned my transportation route to the workplace.
I remember reading in your posts that if I’m rejected for something, something better might be coming my way. But when is a failed manifestation a consequence of resistance and when does it mean something better is on its way?
Dealing with a lot of confusion and a loss of what to do right now. I’d appreciate any advice on the matter – thank you so much!!
Hi Jasmina
Pursue opportunities you think might be good but don’t get too attached to any of them…no job is ever the only good one, the only available one. You must be willing to stop basing how you feel and thinking what is possible based on what already happened–the rejections–and appearances–that there doesn’t seem to be any opportunities. That is really the key because our biggest barrier is getting caught up in what has already happened and what things ‘seem’ to be like, and then using that to determine how we feel and use it as justification for focusing negatively. Let yourself be with the feelings like the fear,etc…but with the intention of releasing them so you can make space for better energy that will serve you better, not wallowing in them.
Thank you! Even though I don’t know why I didn’t get these jobs – despite all the positive signs I had towards them- I’m going to trust that the turn of events happened for my utmost happiness. And that whatever’s waiting for me will be what I had always wanted.
Thank you for the words of advice!
Hey Kelli,
another great post! Thank You for sharing all of that with us.
I agree with You when You say that our mind is more action oriented and that none of the tools will change our energy constantly if our inner world is… lets say full of different limiting beliefs, blocks and so on, that needs to be removed.
I think though that in order to achieve this we need to take some sort of actions like look for some help, exploring our inner world, reading books, blogs e.tc.
I believe by doing that ” work” on ourselves and moving forward with it, it will help us find the actions, activities that won’t feel like OBLIGATION to do in order to get the stuffs we want. They will make us FORGET somehow about the end result, we will do them cause of themselves, they will helps us staying in the NOW and keep our positive energy more dominant.
We must find the balance between working on our inner world and doing something we really like cause i think they are connected.
As You mentioned in another post we should not be digging all the time in our ” souls” lets say…. in order to find where we may have resistance, blocks and so on , cause that won’t feel good. That they will show up in the time of the process. That we must step back, relax , doing the things that make us FEEL better overall…..But as i mentioned above in order to find the things we really love doing ( if we haven’t found them yet of course ) we must have done some inner work so to get more clear vision , mind and so on…..am i on the right path? 🙂
And i would like to ask You ( if its not too much of course ) whether You can explain that what You said about the relationships:
”If you want a relationship because you want to share your life with someone, a romantic relationship is the most interwined relationship we have. So, there is a good chance you will end up with a boyfriend or girlfriend, not someone who is perfect for you in every way but only likes you as a friend”.
Do You want to say that if we only think about the romantic side of a relationship, not about what qualities we would like our partner to have , about the way we want he makes us feel, there is a big chance we wont get the perfect match for us?
Thank You in advance! 🙂
Kind regards
Hi Kelli,
This is a great post and so helpful – a different perspective that I’ve never come across that makes a lot of sense as well.
I have been a fan of your work for a few months now and wanted to thank you for sharing!
I have a questions with regards to relationships, something that I still struggle getting a hang of.
I understand we’re not supposed to try too hard, push or manipulate. But I find it so hard to apply it especially when it comes to relationships but also other aspects of my life that have bigger importance. Manifesting new men into my life seems easy but keeping them is another story. Naturally we all want things to progress to “the next level” after a certain period of time and want things to get better but this is when everything starts to go wrong for me. Is it my feeling of satisfaction that is messing everything up? But how to want more without feeling dissatisfied?
Hi Beatrice
Thanks so much for your comment and I am so glad you have been finding my site a helpful resource for you. Relationships are amazing teachers for us because of the importance we place on them–we look to them to solve all sorts of things they ultimately can’t solve. But our mind doesn’t understand that, hence the deep attachment to manifesting them.
On one hand, we all tend to have the same broader ‘issues’ when it comes to difficulty in this area of life, but on the other, the blend of ‘stuff’ can be very unique from person to person so I could only offer the most general advice here.
Clearly, fear is at the root–fear of not having that ‘final’ relationship that ends in marriage or whatever. And this fear can show up in all sorts of ways–neediness, getting really attached to people right away when we barely know them, etc… what are your specific fears around relationships? It is likely more than just the general fear it won’t happen.
I would also say that there is likely a part of you that may not want the relationship–a part of us not wanting what we want for whatever strange reason that strange part of our mind has come up with, is often a major player when we really struggle with important stuff for a prolonged period.
The key to exploring this is not dismissing any of the cliche, psych 101 type stuff, like fear of intimacy or losing your identity,etc… In that sense, we are all kind of ‘basic’ and there is a reason these things become ‘cliche.’ Being able to honestly assess our feelings, our motivations for wanting what we want, and whether we truly believe in this sort of teaching is crucial because this is the only way to honestly assess our energy and what we are putting out in the world.
If you resonate with my work I do have a manifesting a relationship program available–the focus is on inner energetic exploration and true energetic alignment, not ‘how’ to get the relationship so you may find it helpful for uncovering these things. Actually a product sale through the evening of the 3rd so use the code ‘happyholidays’ if you decide to buy in this time to get it cheaper! And I am always available for private coaching…a session with some one on one time could be helpful if that resonates. Good luck! It sounds like you are in a space of wanting to get at the root of things and that intention is powerful for moving things along.
Hi
I know this post is a few years old but I asked a question to google and this came up.
My problem is this, the reason why I want to give up is not because it isn’t working but because it is. It is manifesting and I worry so much because if it does manifest, there will be pain … for herself, for her partner, for her children and for me. For me to control what our energy is creating, means for me to give up on feeling the joy I feel in my heart. I think sometimes it is easier to attract, then to deliberately reject what is your heart’s desire. I feel selfish to continue to allow this attraction to develop, and that it is inherently wrong to allow it to continue. Does my own moral compass come into play for what the law of attraction manifests?.
Hi Em
Without speaking with you personally, I can only go very general with my answer. The first thing I would say is, if the relationship this other person is in now isn’t working for her, it’s actually not for the other person either. They may not see this or realize it but ultimately this is true; ultimately most people wouldn’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with them. Just because one person’s actions hurt another doesn’t mean these actions were ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ in any way. The end of a relationship is painful for most people and there will be hurt feelings…to stay out of obligation or because you don’t want to hurt the other person actually does more damage because it is preventing them from finding someone who is actually a better match for them. Life is complicated and messy and there are infinite shades of gray. Whatever your ‘moral compass’ is directing you towards may need to be re-evaluated. In most situations, there is no black and white ‘right’ and ‘wrong.’
Hi Kelli, thank you for this helpful post. I will do my best to keep your tips in mind. I have been manifesting a specific person for about 2 years and I have tried taking small breaks but i am not sure if i am doing them correctly. I have tried to forget about the manifesting process and have been trying to distract myself with other things i enjoy, but i am still feeling signs everywhere…like songs and even seeing vlogs/comments from persons that share the same first name like him. Is this normal to see while i am taking a break?
Hi Christal
Be open to how what you want manifests…ultimately you want a relationship. Maybe it’s this person, maybe someone else. Don’t try to control the ‘how,’ understand manifesting is about inner transformation that makes your energy a match to these outside wants, not about trying to manipulate your outside. The inside is the only thing we ‘control’ for lack of a better word.
Thank you! You saved my sanity. WTF has been my mantra for over a month.
Bless you. I am book marking this!😊😊
Thanks Zana…glad you enjoyed it!
If i don t manifest in the time i want (in a cetain period of time) but long after that time, i cannot consider that i succeeded in manifesting. This is a very intricate “tool” as you named it. That is very culpabilizing tool. Whatever you do it is your fault, whether you did or didn t manifest ant whatever you manifest.
Very contradicting, what exactly tells you you have to give up, or check with yourself. In one hand you say it is very precise, if you apply the process, you will for sure manifest, and on the other hand, it can occur that you don t manifest even if you apply the process. That is very confusing!!